how not to port & polish your car! LMAO

1. spencer_cammedvts Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: Nov 2005 MEASHAM United Kingdom (England) Posts: 3445 257bhp Ibiza Cupra Turbo

   #1 5th October 2006, 21:15

   iv just found this on SSC. have a read. i cant stop laughing. the guy is actually doing this to peoples cars for a price!
   
   
   Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
   I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
   Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.
2. willsy West Midlands Joined: Nov 2005 Nuneaton (West Mids) Posts: 13835 '64 Volvo V40 R’Design, '89 Ph1 309 GTi, ‘97 Mk1 S

   #2 5th October 2006, 21:19

   :shock: thats horrifying. Surely common sense says not to do that?
3. spencer_cammedvts Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: Nov 2005 MEASHAM United Kingdom (England) Posts: 3445 257bhp Ibiza Cupra Turbo

   #3 5th October 2006, 21:22

   what common sense? he doesnt need common sense. he tunes hondas! obviously doesnt know how to flow sand through an audi engine! LMFBO! ha ha
4. s60tsy Established Member Joined: Feb 2005 leigh, manchester Posts: 1181 VTS FOR SALE!!!

   #4 5th October 2006, 21:25

   theyve gotta be taking the piss!
5. landy Saxperience Post Whore Joined: Feb 2006 south elmsall Posts: 5147 cammed vtr

   #5 5th October 2006, 21:26

   is this for real
6. spencer_cammedvts Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: Nov 2005 MEASHAM United Kingdom (England) Posts: 3445 257bhp Ibiza Cupra Turbo

   #6 5th October 2006, 21:27

   yer for real! there is even a link on ssc to it!
7. s60tsy Established Member Joined: Feb 2005 leigh, manchester Posts: 1181 VTS FOR SALE!!!

   #7 5th October 2006, 21:33

   i really cannot beleive that, you have got to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally thick to even think about doing that?
8. fredjudd Established Member Joined: Aug 2006 Salisbury Posts: 1118 Saxo VTR full Janspeed exhuast (4-2

   #8 5th October 2006, 21:34

   LMAO, you are responsible for my spilling coke all over my monitor! never heard anything as funny.
9. Yates Saxperience Hardcore! Joined: Mar 2005 Pompey/Darlo Posts: 31546 MK1 - 1.1 Animal

   #9 5th October 2006, 22:18

   piss take? why would an audi owner post on a saxo forum? barrys?
10. l1ukeRS Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: Oct 2005 Telford United Kingdom (England) Posts: 3962 Focus RS Saxo Vtr

    #10 5th October 2006, 22:45

    yeah exactly matt, piss take, id say they'd get thorugh fuck all sand let alone 12lb of it b4 it was fucked if it was true
11. Richardson_VTS Established Member Joined: Mar 2006 Northallerton Posts: 1672 Mini Cooper S

    #11 5th October 2006, 23:02

    lmao, why sand?? they should of used water surely! lol
12. Josh_Phipps Established Member Joined: Jun 2006 Aylesbury, Bucks Posts: 1867 Mk 2 Vtr (sold), Fiat Seciento Sporting

    #12 5th October 2006, 23:10

    Haha that just spells Disaster!
13. newtomods Infrequent Poster Joined: Aug 2006 coventry Posts: 163 Saxo VTS lowered on street mantis

    #13 6th October 2006, 07:33

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fredjudd LMAO, you are responsible for my spilling coke all over my monitor! never heard anything as funny.

    
    same here had just taken a mouth full of coffee and guess where it ended up , yup all over the monitor
    
    but man what a bunch of tards , wonder what form of acid they use for paint prep have to PM em for us lol
14. Connor_scotland Saxperience Post Whore Joined: Mar 2006 Inverness - Scotland Posts: 8294 4th Impreza of the year - 391bhp - Audi S4 Avant,

    #14 6th October 2006, 07:46

    OMG how and why would someone beleave doing something like that is a good idea
15. spencer_cammedvts Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: Nov 2005 MEASHAM United Kingdom (England) Posts: 3445 257bhp Ibiza Cupra Turbo

    #15 6th October 2006, 08:31

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt piss take? why would an audi owner post on a saxo forum? barrys?

    someone on ssc had got it off another forum!
16. sy_VTR Established Member Joined: Jul 2006 BLACKBURN Posts: 1216 BLACK MK2 VTR, MK1 POSI VTS

    #16 6th October 2006, 12:53

    what an absolute idiot!! if you no this guy tell him to stick some cement and water n he can make some mortar and do some rendering, he could turn his car into a cement mixer!! lol losers!!
17. saxo_vtr1234 Established Member Joined: Apr 2006 cambridge United Kingdom (England) Posts: 1208 saxo vtr silver

    #17 6th October 2006, 17:03

    like matt said its a piss take who in there right mind would do that to there car
18. Curran Saxperience Post Whore Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 5387

    #18 6th October 2006, 17:44

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by saxo_vtr1234 like matt said its a piss take who in there right mind would do that to there car

    fuck knows but some people seem to think they can just change their number plate to what ever they like and just get some new plates printed. surely thats just as stoooooooopid
19. Hannah Saxperience Post Whore Joined: Jun 2006 Brighton Posts: 6497 Stannah Stairlift

    #19 6th October 2006, 17:47

    haha what a idiot!! i wouldnt even do that and thats saying something! lol
20. SaxOmniaC Saxperience Forum Bum Joined: May 2006 Northants Posts: 2825 none at present

    #20 6th October 2006, 20:49

    OMG! what a dick! funnily enough i passed esso earlier and there sand is down to 79.9p a litre!!!
21. Barry123 Saxperience Hardcore! Joined: Oct 2005 Aycliffe Posts: 32205 Saxo VTS

    #21 6th October 2006, 20:59

    hahahahahahahaa what an idiot!!!
    
    hahahahaha
    
    the fool clearly forgot to remap the ecu afterwards... what a divvy...
22. Jaytee Saxperience Post Whore Joined: Sep 2006 Tyldesley, Manchester Posts: 5276 1.Saxo VTR 2.Saxo180

    #22 8th October 2006, 00:25

    lol. dick. thats pretty much the stupidist thing i have ever heard.